Friday, December 2, 2011

Guest Post by The Photog: Life with a Fashionista - Day 1

Don't know what I'm doing here or how I got roped into this, but I have been graciously conned asked into guest posting on PS&L.  Why?  We'll get to that in a minute.

A while back, several of us were out having dinner after work.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  Happens all the time.  Until I noticed I was the only guy at the table.  Mind you, it wasn't planned that way.  Yet it happened.  Me.  And eight women.  Lord have mercy.  There was food and there was drink.  I could deal with it.

The next morning, one of our friend's that attended dinner the night before mentioned something (as a joke, mostly) that had not crossed either Sarah's or my mind - I need to write about "life with a fashionista."  Pretty novel concept, I figured.  In that very instant, I had come up with not one, not two, but FIVE days worth of training material.  Oh yes - training material.  Five days worth of courses chock full of agenda items for how to deal with a fashionista that every guy needs to know.  Now here's the kicker - all of that material actually came from the events that had transpired within the previous 24 hours.  24 hours!  That's all it took to come up with 5 days of training material!!

So without further ado, I give you the abridged version of Day 1 - "What is going on here?"

Session 1:  Dealing with no closet space.

I'm a simple man.  I work in a corporate office with business professional attire.  Suit and tie.  Don't mind it either.  Keeps things simple.  A few suits.  A few shirts.  A few ties.  Voila.  Done.  Doesn't sound like much, right?  That's because it isn't.

You've all heard about the new loft.  It's nice.  Really nice.  The closet downstairs has two doors on it.  Walk in one side, go aaaaaaaaaaall the way down the closet and out the other side.  It's the length of the bedroom wall.  Not too shabby, right?  PLENTY of room, right?  (See where I'm going with this?)  Yeah, you guessed it.  No room for my few clothes in a closet 20' long.  So there I was.  Staring at a closet full of clothes.  And none of them were mine.  Seriously?  What is going on here?

Session 2:  Dealing with no money.

I am a firm believer that all fashionistas can be summed up in two words.  High.  Maintenance.  No, no.  Don't argue with me.  I don't care how calm, cool, and collected you think you are - you're still high maintenance.  (I hear that admitting there's a problem is the first step on the road to recovery, by the way...)

High maintenance.  And not just about buying clothes.  Not just about buying purses, or shoes, or makeup, or accessories or any of those high maintenance requirements either.  Oh no.  They're no fun just sitting in a closet.  You have to take them places.  What does this mean?  Means you go out.  You go out to dinner.  You go have some drinks.  You go do more shopping.  At the end of the day, you look in your wallet, shake your head, and realize the cobwebs have cobwebs.  Sigh.  What is going on here?

Session 3:  Dealing with no cup holders.

Cars nowadays are pretty darn sophisticated.  Talking GPS'.  Integrated bluetooth calling.  Airbags that keep you safer than a feather in a box of packing peanuts.  And cup holders.  I swear there are more cup holders in my car than hairs on my head.  Rarely does anyone actually use a cup holder for what it's intended though.  Cup holders become the catch-all for coins, trash, that french fry that fell out of the holes in the bottom of the french fry carton because they have yet to invent a freakin french fry carton that doesn't have holes in the bottom!!!!!!!!!!!!  Ahem.  Got a little carried away there.  What was I saying?  Oh yeah.  Cup holders.

I keep my cell phone in my pants pocket everywhere I go.  For only two reasons do I pull it out - when I'm using it, or when I'm sitting down.  Can't stand having my phone in my pocket when I'm sitting at my desk much less when I'm driving.  So what do I do with it?  I put it in the cup holder.  Only there is no available cup holder.  How can that be??  This car comes equipped with 500 of the things.  Surely I'm missing one.  Nope. They're taken.  Not by coins.  Not by trash.  Not even by that long lost french fry.  But by your fashionista.  Rings, earrings, bracelets, bangles, watches, sunglasses, makeup, shoes (yes, even shoes)... You have GOT to be kidding me.  What in the THUNDER is going on here??
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And that, my friends, concludes our training for Day 1.  So back to the original question - why this guest post?  Keep an eye out for Day 2: Whining.

28 comments:

  1. This is hilarious (and also true!) - I'm going to send the link to my hubby to read and I have a feeling he will 100% agree with Tim. :)

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  2. THE BEST post ever! please don't make us wait too long for the whining post :)

    Happy Friday!

    xxx,

    Fashion Fractions

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  3. LMFAO! This is hysterically awesome! Thank you for bringing a smile to my face this early :)
    xo
    Lia

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  4. Hahaha, hilarious post! Can't wait for Day 2!

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  5. Omg this is great. My husband will die when he reads this!!!

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  6. I did read it, I will tune in for day 2

    - Amy's Husband.

    (I do have a name, but no one knows me by any other reason besides "that guy married to Amy". She is so great, I am so lucky to be married to this wonderful woman!

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  7. HAHAHAHAHA!! This is so, so good!! I can't wait for Day 2! Great idea, guys! :)

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  8. OMG I died laughing. I keep telling husband to start a blog called "True Life: I married a Blogger."

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  9. WHAT IN THE THUNDER is going on here??? LOL. my favorite lines: "I swear there are more cup holders in my car than hairs on my head" and "Airbags that keep you safer than a feather in a box of packing peanuts"!!! You guys are two peas in a pod...and i LOVE it. Can't wait for part two. i actually think you should do a weekly column...called....WWBD or WWHBD. =)

    xoxo, jenn
    the stylish housewife

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  10. This is the best post I've seen in so long. I especially love the section on closet sharing. My bf gets two shelves and two feet of bar space, so next time he complains about closet ratios I'm going to show him what you wrote. That way he'll know he's not alone. :)

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  11. I cracked up at this post. Oh how true everything is. We can't deny it. Especially the high maintenance part - definitely something I need to admit to get on my way to a road of recovery ;)

    Looking forward to the next part! (I hope there will be a next part?)

    xx
    thistimeisacharm.blogspot.com

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  12. Laughing so hard Tim.....Very entertaining :)!!! Very, very true. Sam cleans out my car every few days.....lipsticks, eyeliner, earrings, handbags, etc.......:)

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  13. Oh my goodness this post is brilliant!!!
    And I guess somewhat accurate..haha. We have a nice walk in Closet in our house, and of course it's mine, all mine! We also have a closet in the computer room, it store my coats. Brodys pretty lucky I let him have 2 Armoires! Vyla's also aloud too keep her closet to herself, but that's only because she's in fashionista training!

    Natasha ~ Required2BeInspired

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  14. Hah! this is great! I can't wait to read more from your (hilarious) perspective!

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  15. Ahahah!Can't wait to read next parts!!!So hiliarious :-)
    Carolina
    www.the-world-c.blogspot.com

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  16. In my defense - I did not know dinner that night was me, you, and 7 other women.

    The rest is all true. Well played, Sir. Well played.

    -TheFashionistaWhoTorturesYouByTakingYourCupholders

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  17. This post was hilarious! I was cracking up at the cup holder part - I've never thought of it but it's totally true, I take all of ours over :) Well done and looking forward to reading more!

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  18. Brilliant. So True. Amazingly accurate. And I love you AND Sarah more now.

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  19. This is too funny! I am sending this to my bf for sure. The only thing I could personally argue with is the cup holder thing. Thats only because I am a clean freak in the car. A drink goes in the cup holder or sometime my phone if no coffee or water is around and thats it. But still, too funny and VERY well written!!!
    Cheers,
    Bre

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  20. this is frickin hilarious on so many levels but most importantly it is 100% TRUE!!! Love it.

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  21. hahaha this post was hilarious! Can't wait for part 2.

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  22. You and my boyfriend have a lot in common. Too funny!

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  23. Funny and very sweet. Obviously, he must be a patient man ;)

    Enter for a chance to win a Junior Drake bag (Valued at $158).
    http://whichmewillibetoday.wordpress.com

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  24. This. Is. Awesome.

    (and so true... shhhh.....)

    Glad I found this blog, am now a follower - now onto some more archives :)

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  25. This. Is. Awesome.

    (and so true... shhhh.....)

    Glad I found this blog, am now a follower - now onto some more archives :)

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  26. This. Is. Awesome.

    (and so true... shhhh.....)

    Glad I found this blog, am now a follower - now onto some more archives :)

    ReplyDelete

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